School Bullying: School Bullying

School Bullying: School Bullying: "Does it actually take two to tangle? Have our schools inadvertently perpetuated school bullying? By Ken McDaniel Many of us are familiar..."

School Bullying

Does it actually take two to tangle? Have our schools inadvertently perpetuated school bullying?

By Ken McDaniel

Many of us are familiar with the old adage, “It takes two to tangle”. It was and still is used in schools across the country today. Many teachers, school administrators and parents continue to subscribe to the general principle of this axiom. Many of us believe that in order for a verbal and/or physical altercation to ensue, there must be two willing participants actively fueling the fire. Let’s examine this state of affairs in the context of School Bullying.

*School Bullying can be defined as repeated student on student, oppressive and often times violent behavior, intended to harm, damage or otherwise injure a targeted student of perceived lesser strength, power or status.

Victims of school bullying endure frequent, unwarranted and unprovoked, negative attention from their tormentors. Unfortunately, in many school districts the intervention efforts utilized by school personnel have been minimal and ineffective at curtailing school bullying. Victims of school bullying are often advised to simply ignore their tormentors. Unfortunately, that strategy rarely works. As a result of school employees’ inability and/or unwillingness to address school bullying, countless victims are reluctant to inform school authorities about recurrent incidents of bullying.

When victims take matters into their own hands, they may end up…

A.) inadvertently intensifying their problems; making matters worse

B.) overreacting; escalating incidents to the level of physical violence

C.) responding in a manner that leads authorities to categorize the victim as the aggressor.

If/when any of the above occurs, victims are further victimized and the bully often gets off without penalty. Schools often respond incorrectly when victims of bullying lash out against aggressors and when bullying incidents are brought to the attention of administrators. In many instances it is common for schools to punish the victim and the bully by issuing both students identical consequences. Instead of thoroughly investigating the root cause of an altercation, in many school districts, school personnel have been known to take the easy way out by conveniently and broadly applying the old adage, “It takes two to tangle”.

In an attempt to combat school bullying, school personnel must begin to recognize the problems associated with school bullying, identify indicators of school bullying, train staff in how to address school bullying, implement bullying prevention programs at all grade levels, develop and enforce consequences for acts deemed to be associated with school bullying, and inform students and parents about on and off campus resources that address the results/fallout associated with school bullying.

The short and long term effects suffered by victims of school bullying include but are not limited to:

• depression
• lowered self-esteem
• social avoidance
• absenteeism
• suicidal ideation
• self-destructive behavior
• suicide

A related problem, worthy of additional exploration, is the fact that adolescent bullies tend to continue their aggressive ways well into adulthood. This can lead to a number of social problems including but not limited to:

• over aggressive behavior
• criminality
• domestic abuse / violence
• murder

Conflict Resolution Educators suggest that the following are indications that a child might be a bully:

• rejects or excludes other children
• harasses, intimidates and taunts others
• spreads rumors, verbally or electronically, that hurt or ruin another’s reputation
• hits, punches, kicks, slams, chokes, fights, etc…
• possesses a favorable view of violence
• threatens with force or fear; extortion
• controls and dominates others
• damages property of others
• quick-tempered, impulsive, easily frustrated, short fuse, etc…
• takes pleasure in seeing others in distress, unconcerned if someone is upset or hurt
• finds it difficult to see a situation from the other person’s point of view
• refuses to accept responsibility or denies wrong doing when evidence shows guilt
• blames the victim or says the child “deserved what s/he got”
• targets those who are younger, smaller, weaker or powerless
• lacks empathy

Please note that in isolation these attributes should not send off any red flags. However, when a child exhibits a large number of these and other significant indicators, parents and school personnel should take proactive measures aimed at addressing matters before things get worse.

Since it is exceedingly likely that school bullying has been occurring for almost as long as schools have been in existence, it is within reason to expect that school staff be trained in the proper ways of addressing and combating this social phenomenon. In addition to staff training, this topic should be thoroughly discussed at parent teacher association meetings. Students should be taught how to handle incidents of school bullying and where to go to get assistance if/when necessary.

Last but certainly not least, schools should create meaningful policies that identify and speak to the needs of the victims of school bullying, as well as address the issues and concerns presented by the perpetrators of act associated with school bullying. School officials must muster the courage needed to respond to school bullying in a manner that effectively issues appropriate and logical consequences to aggressors/bullies; even at the expense of totally abandoning the convenient and overused old “Two to Tangle” adage.

Some may espouse that blame rests at the doors of school districts due to their disinclination and/or inability to identify and comprehensively address students who prey upon our children and essentially turn a school’s academic and social environments upside-down by committing acts designed to terrorize students merely seeking to be educated. This writer believes that responsibility and culpability rests upon all adult shoulders. As a collective, we must be proactive and diligent when it comes to the wellbeing of our youth. Teachers, administrators, parents, coaches, clergy, friends, relative, etc… must habitually speak and teach against bullying and other forms of violence. Join the PTA, a community/service oriented organization, faith-based group, etc… and take a bold stand.

*For the purposes of this note, it is assumed that the term School Bullying represents all forms of student on student bullying, including but not limited to verbal, physical, electronic, cyber, etc...